Remembering

Palma Giovane

Last year, on this date, my family and I were looking forward to going to Mass for the Feast of Candlemas. However, as the afternoon wore on, I started to experience some complications with my pregnancy and I knew that it would be prudent to stay home. I had experienced similar problems when I was pregnant with Elizabeth, but this time, they seemed more intense. Thus, I asked family and friends to pray and I made a doctor's appointment for the next day.

The doctor's appointment went well and my ob felt that there was no real reason for concern. He had me schedule a follow-up appointment and sent me to the lab to have my hcg levels checked. On the morning of the 4th, I received a phone call from the nurse, letting me know that my hcg levels were over 23,000 and everything looked great, but everything wasn't great. After dinner that night, I started to hemorrhage and I continued to do so for the next 11 1/2 hours. When I felt completely weak and like I was going to either faint or die, I prayed, "Dear God, please have mercy on me. I want to be here for my husband and children, and I don't want to die without going to confession or receiving last rites." Then I called for my husband to come and help me. Everything slowed down. He came in and helped me into our room and bed. Thankfully, I was able to stay there for almost 30 minutes.

On the 5th, after experiencing such a horrendous night, I thought that my miscarriage was complete, but I soon learned that it was not. My pregnancy came to a final end on the 7th of February. Since that time, I have prayed regularly for another baby and I have offered my cross for a pregnant mother in our parish who, after 11 miscarriages, delivered her second son on the 29th of January. Since February 2010, I have tried (sometimes very ungraciously) to be able to accept God's will. I have tried to focus on the many blessings in my life and I have found some peace.

Tonight, for the feast of Candlemas, I will go to Mass and I will pray for all mother's who have lost a child or children in miscarriage or after birth. I will pray once more for acceptance of God's will and I will thank Our Blessed Mother for her example. Tonight, I will pray for my children and I will hold each one them a little bit closer, thanking God for blessing me with them.

"We have received Thy mercy, O God, in the midst of Thy temple; according to Thy Name, O God, so also is Thy praise unto the ends of the earth; Thy right hand is full of justice. -- (Ps. 47. 2). Great is the Lord, and exceedingly to be praised, in the city of God, in His holy mountain."
INTROIT Ps. 47. 10, 11